Ask a Nice Guy

Nice is always Nice

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Anonymous asked: I'm 19, almost 20, and I'm dating a guy who's 15 (gonna turn 16) this year. We met online, were friends for a really long time. I know it sounds weird because it's such a big age difference, and it's really stressing me out because it's not something that you can tell to the public and expect them to understand and accept. We've been through a LOT of issues, and I do care about him a lot, but my question is, what do you think I should do?

Weird? I was 18 when I dated my last ex who was 15, turning 16 that year. A 4 year difference isn’t a problem. The fact that you are stressing out about it means that you aren’t really at terms with it. Yes some people won’t understand; with the age difference or the online nature of your relationship. But that’s why it’s up to you to try and make them understand. If they don’t, you shouldn’t let that ruin your relationship with him. You’re mature enough to be able to see that you want this, so why should you need others to accept it? when the most important ones who need to are you and him.

You’re happy? You just need to show people you are and they’ll let it be. Unless you have very strict parents or “I know what’s best for you” friends, but that’s a whole other story.

Nice Guy Out!

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Anonymous asked: I hate how lately everyone's been telling me I should be on antidepressants because I've been crying a lot because a lot's been going on, and this all began with a tumblr post I thought wouldn't be judged. I dono, I guess I just need advice on how to cope? :/ It's been one of the hardest months ever and I feel like I'm about to cry as soon as I get home and next week especially is gonna be really hard for me :/

It’s in human nature to try and do good, when sometimes people forget that they should just really find out from the person themselves what’s best. 

In the most general sense, you have to think about what exactly can and can’t be done and really just hold on to the things that can get you through it. Knowing things will get better will help. Sadly, things will get worse before they get better. You just have to endure it until the end. Until you reach the point where you can finally look at everything and say, “I know things will get better from now on.” And when you truly believe it, that’s when you’ll feel better. You have to realize that you can’t always let what other people do define you. You ultimately control how effective the world is on you, and you have to be strong and stay true to you.

I’d have a better understanding if I knew exactly what was happening, so if you’re willing to share then by all means. Anon or not, I’ll be here to listen

Nice Guy Out!

Filed under Anonymous

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Nice Guy Rant #5

I’m tired of people telling me “you don’t need a relationship to be happy.” It’s like people fail to ask whether I was unhappy without it. If you just talk to me, you’d find out that I’m actually quite happy. I have a family that loves me, supportive friends, and a life I cant really complain about. 

Anyone who’s ever been in a relationship can tell you that it’s a different kind of happiness. I’ve been in 3 relationships in my lifetime, and I can tell you, I have never felt the kind of emotions with my girlfriend with just anyone. A hug means something totally different when it’s from a partner than just a friend. 

This is something I miss, and that’s something I’m hoping to find again. 

Filed under Nice guy rant

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Anonymous asked: Do you think it's weird to keep the things your ex has bought you?

To be honest, if it isn’t causing problems then no. I still have the yearbook message my ex wrote in my yearbook before I graduated. I reminisce about the good time so it really isn’t a bad thing. Just because you guys aren’t together, doesn’t mean that the meaning behind those things change. Keep them if you like. I don’t see why it’s a problem to keep them.

Nice Guy out!

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For half a year, I’ve basically done all I can to avoid talking to my ex. I blocked him off everything, and limit our conversations when we meet in person. I usually keep my guard up so he keeps away, but I feel like whenever he has the chance he tries to act super nice and almost looks disappointed when we don’t have a chance to talk. Yesterday I had to see him for a close gathering, and I don’t know if it was the alcohol, but it made me loose up and try to talk to him. It was like I lit a fire, because all of a sudden, he started to have lots of conversations with me and even began to put his arms around me. I would sometimes pull his arm off, but I have to admit, there were a lot of moments where I just let him. It just really confuses me because I don’t know if he’s doing it because we’re dated and he’s playing nice or if he’s trying to do something again. We were on and off for a few years and ugh… it’s really confusing. I don’t want to ever get back with him, but I just don’t know what to do in this situation. Should I wait to see if he continues to act close? Or be direct about it when it happens again?

Ahh the powers of alcohol. It’s clear to me that part of you still misses him. And that’s perfectly okay. I am the same way with my ex. I want nothing to do with her but I’ll have days where I just want things to go back the way they were. I avoid her where possible and it’s a lot of work. 

The thing here is that you have to make the choice; either let him in again or continue to keep him away. You need to take the time to really think about this so you can focus yourself on getting that done. Once you have that down, you can start to actually do it. Like if you really don’t want to keep it going, then continue being distant; keep making space between him. 

It sounds to me like he is kind of hung up on you. Like he;s trying to see if anything can come up. But honestly, if you really don’t it to happen, be upfront with him if he tries to pull anything and stick to it. He might get persistent and you know what, let him waste his time. If he can’t take the message then he’s at a loss. Try not to give him anything to go on, just so you don’t give him the wrong idea. 

Keep a strong head and you’ll get through it. 

Nice Guy Out! 

Filed under anonymous submission